Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Famous For No Reason

In honor of this week's royal wedding, I thought it would be a good time to bring attention to a very disturbing trend in American society:  unearned celebrity.  Our country is literally full of "famous" people who have done absolutely nothing, what does that say about us who encourage this?  Why do over 9 million people watch "Jersey Shore" each week?  In my opinion pop culture in America has hit a low point, and we can only hope it turns around ASAP.  With all that in mind, I'd like to run through my top 10 "famous for no reason" Americans.

10.  Subway Jared:  In Jared's defense, I admire the fact that he got his act together and lost a bunch of weight, but ever since the dude has not had to have a real job.  I mean people lose weight all the time, yet how many of them get to be on tv forever?

9.  Kevin Federline:  A backup dancer who somehow married Brittney Spears, yet then couldn't figure out a way to hold on to a lifelong lottery ticket.  Even still, we all know him, and I hear he still garners a pretty good club appearance fee.

8.  All Survivor castoffs/winners:  Congrats on camping out in an exotic location for a few weeks and not getting along with others.  I will be impressed when they do Survivor:  Antarctica.

7.  All Housewife cast members:  I have never seen an episode of any of these, though I hear Real Houswives Santa Fe is riveting.  Lets find quasi new money people and encourage them to act like total morons.

6.  Real World/Road Rules cast members:  I have no idea what the qualifications are for these shows, but I know they are so low that these people can't find other gainful employment afterward. because they have continued to release all these spin-off shows involving all the former cast mates.  From what I can tell an affinity for cheating and tribal tats are a must for being on these programs.

5.  Lindsey Lohan:  Seeing as how she hasn't done a move in like 4 years or so, I have forgotten why she is famous, yet she is still front page news when on cue she breaks parole, and avoids jail time.  It is time for her to go AWAY.

4.  The cast of The Hills:  Great idea, lets take a bunch of rich hot people, and give them an easy entrance into show business regardless of talent.  Goes to show how clutch it is to be in the "lucky sperm club", because these people have had all the breaks already.

3.  Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchie:  From The Simple Life fame, these two heiresses shot to the top of the q list and have remained ever since.  Much like those mentioned in # 4, these girls already had the world at their fingertips, yet we continue to throw money and attention their way for no reason whatsoever. 

2.  The Kardashians:  The Kardashians are this high because of how famous they are, I mean they are through the stratosphere.  While they became famous for no reason, I will give them a little credit for shrewdly exploiting their fame and maximizing their earning power.  That being said, they have no skills and even less brains; oh yeah their dad defended O.J., go figure.

1.  The Jersey Shore cast:  You knew this was coming, I mean trashy, tasteless, and obnoxious are just some of the adjectives you could use to describe these idiots.  Everybody acknowledges these people are morons, yet America keeps tuning in.  It really makes me wonder if there is something in the water here; the Chinese must be laughing at us.  While they excel in science and math, we sit around and watch Snooki get drunk and "you know what" by random dudes.

As I look at this list, I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Giving Back

As most of you know, a few friends and I recently put on an event called Score For Sarcoma; benefiting the Winship Cancer Institute at Emory University.  I am pleased to announce that the event was a great success, and last week we were able to present Winship a check for $4,326.  The amount of money we raised through the event and donations totally blew away my expectations, and for that I thank you all a million times over for helping us!  What makes this fund-raising effort different in my mind, is that instead of donating the money to "research/awareness", which is difficult to know if your money is really helping people, we donated our funds to the Patient Assistance Fund, which exists to help under privileged cancer patients with copays, rent, rides to treatment, etc.  I believe that all of you who donated/participated should feel comfortable in knowing that your money is truly helping those who really need it.  Again thank you all!!!!

Here is a picture of my parents, Brian Fitzgerald (co-chair of the event), and myself giving the check to Winship.  Sadly our other co-chair Clint Powell was not able to join us, but to Brian and Clint both, thank you so much for the initial idea and helping drive the success of this event.

Monday, April 4, 2011

A Tradition Like No Other

Most of you know that The Masters is my favorite week of the year; a week that begins this morning as the players and patrons head out for the first day of official practice rounds.  My first trip to Augusta was on a rainy Tuesday back in 2003.  My dad won 4 practice round badges in the lottery that year so myself and 3 buddies from college drove over from Athens.  In 2004 I was lucky enough to be invited by my good friend Ross to attend the final round, where we watched Phil charge from behind to capture his first major title.  That Easter Sunday in 2004 was probably the greatest sporting event I've seen live.

So with The Masters upon us, I would like to turn attention to a sports bucket list of sorts.  Here is my top 10 list of sporting events to see:

1.  BCS National Championship Game involving UGA:  I would prefer it to be in the Rose Bowl, but I'm not that picky I guess.  I would just love to see the dawgs win it all in person.  My Bama friends said it was amazing to see their team win it last year in Pasadena.

2.  Men's Wimbledon Final:  As far as tennis goes, this is the granddaddy of them all.  How many people do you know that have been to the Wimbledon final?  Exactly, I can't think of any either.

3.  USA in the World Cup Finals:  After the excitement generated by the American squad this past summer in South Africa, I would love to be on location in a hostile environment rooting on the yanks.  The next opportunity is in 2016 down in Brazil, which would be cool on a number of levels.  It would be even more amazing if they were to somehow make the finals.

4.  Rangers baseball in Fenway Park:  As one of the two remaining iconic baseball stadiums along with Wrigley Field, I would love to see my team beat up on the Sox like they did this past weekend, but of course on their turf.  I have heard that not only is it a cool park, but there are so many bars and restaurants around Fenway, that make you wonder what the heck they were thinking when they built Turner Field.

5.  Braves baseball in Wrigley Field:  See above

6.  Kentucky Derby - From a Box:  Notice the specifics I highlighted:  "From a Box".  Any idiot with $60 can get a ticket to the infield where the youth of America go to get sleazy.  I can do that any night of the week, I don't have to go to Louisville to find such tomfoolery.  I want to go to a box, sit up there with some rich guys and some hot women with big hats.

7.  British Open:  I have seen a lot of live golf, which is why I am just now getting to it here on my list.  That being said, I would love to go to the British Open, preferably at either St. Andrews or Royal St. George.

8.  Champions League Final featuring Aston Villa:  For those of you who don't know, some friends and I all started following English top flight soccer this winter.  We all chose teams and have followed them into the spring and then beyond.  My club of choice is Aston Villa out of Birmingham, and I would love for them to qualify for the Champions League final someday and play in the finals (hopefully in Wembley Stadium).  If you haven't checked out the EPL, I recommend you take a look at it.  I have really enjoyed following soccer this winter/spring, and I look forward to being more knowledgeable when the 2011/2012 Premier League season begins in the Fall.

9.  & 10.  I literally can't think of a 9th or 10th event.  I have no desire to ever go to the Super Bowl, nor do I care much about going to the Final Four or a World Series game.  I could care less about the Dayton 500 or Indy 500 as well.  I guess that about wraps it up?  What events would be on your top ten list?