Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Famous For No Reason

In honor of this week's royal wedding, I thought it would be a good time to bring attention to a very disturbing trend in American society:  unearned celebrity.  Our country is literally full of "famous" people who have done absolutely nothing, what does that say about us who encourage this?  Why do over 9 million people watch "Jersey Shore" each week?  In my opinion pop culture in America has hit a low point, and we can only hope it turns around ASAP.  With all that in mind, I'd like to run through my top 10 "famous for no reason" Americans.

10.  Subway Jared:  In Jared's defense, I admire the fact that he got his act together and lost a bunch of weight, but ever since the dude has not had to have a real job.  I mean people lose weight all the time, yet how many of them get to be on tv forever?

9.  Kevin Federline:  A backup dancer who somehow married Brittney Spears, yet then couldn't figure out a way to hold on to a lifelong lottery ticket.  Even still, we all know him, and I hear he still garners a pretty good club appearance fee.

8.  All Survivor castoffs/winners:  Congrats on camping out in an exotic location for a few weeks and not getting along with others.  I will be impressed when they do Survivor:  Antarctica.

7.  All Housewife cast members:  I have never seen an episode of any of these, though I hear Real Houswives Santa Fe is riveting.  Lets find quasi new money people and encourage them to act like total morons.

6.  Real World/Road Rules cast members:  I have no idea what the qualifications are for these shows, but I know they are so low that these people can't find other gainful employment afterward. because they have continued to release all these spin-off shows involving all the former cast mates.  From what I can tell an affinity for cheating and tribal tats are a must for being on these programs.

5.  Lindsey Lohan:  Seeing as how she hasn't done a move in like 4 years or so, I have forgotten why she is famous, yet she is still front page news when on cue she breaks parole, and avoids jail time.  It is time for her to go AWAY.

4.  The cast of The Hills:  Great idea, lets take a bunch of rich hot people, and give them an easy entrance into show business regardless of talent.  Goes to show how clutch it is to be in the "lucky sperm club", because these people have had all the breaks already.

3.  Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchie:  From The Simple Life fame, these two heiresses shot to the top of the q list and have remained ever since.  Much like those mentioned in # 4, these girls already had the world at their fingertips, yet we continue to throw money and attention their way for no reason whatsoever. 

2.  The Kardashians:  The Kardashians are this high because of how famous they are, I mean they are through the stratosphere.  While they became famous for no reason, I will give them a little credit for shrewdly exploiting their fame and maximizing their earning power.  That being said, they have no skills and even less brains; oh yeah their dad defended O.J., go figure.

1.  The Jersey Shore cast:  You knew this was coming, I mean trashy, tasteless, and obnoxious are just some of the adjectives you could use to describe these idiots.  Everybody acknowledges these people are morons, yet America keeps tuning in.  It really makes me wonder if there is something in the water here; the Chinese must be laughing at us.  While they excel in science and math, we sit around and watch Snooki get drunk and "you know what" by random dudes.

As I look at this list, I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

1 comment:

  1. Hip, hip hooray! Son, You are sounding like a sensible, intelligent adult. mom